Fear, Faith and... New Mexico

This morning during a time of quiet I was reading Psalm 61. Somewhere in the midst of its words something became so clear: My greatest fear, (oft unseen yet always close by) is that all the great projects of my life are being carried out under my own power. That is to say, that God is not really the One clearing the way before, giving the strength to proceed, calling me forward in all things. The thought that all that I have done, all that we have done together, has been done completely of ourselves threatens to strip all that is beautiful from our lives.

Oz Guiness talks about the loss of calling, the ceasation of the search for our purpose as a form of sloth. I think there's some truth to that. We do have the ability to choose whether to pursue questions of calling. In fact there is some sin in not doing so. And what we find down that road.. the roads we go down because of what we find.. and who leads us down those roads, that's... everything. A beautiful, life giving, everything.

All this means quite a bit to me today, because yesterday I began the difficult process of telling my dear friends of Gadsden, Alabama that Amy and I feel God leading us to a new field of ministry far away. We will be moving to Albuquerque, New Mexico at the end of this year. We are as excited about this calling as we are grieved over departing so much that is dear. I saw a dear friend at Wal-mart just yesterday and I wanted to cry. (But really, you can't cry at Wal-mart there's just too much joy waiting over in electronics, but that's another blog)

In the end though, to remain in a place of comfort when God seems to be far out ahead of us would be to choose the very life I've just said I fear. For the Christian who has grown to a place where such is his fear, there really is no other choice, because at this moment God for us will only be found in New Mexico, just as His was waiting for us in Alabama and Tennessee before that and Colorado before that.

May (this man) reign under God's protection forever.

Appoint your unfailing love and faithfulness to watch over him.

Then I will always sing praises to your name as I fulfill my vows day after day.

Psalm 61:7,8

Is there anything more I could ask?

Is there anything greater we could loose?

Don't Read This

Recently I was shocked, (shocked I say!) to discover that literally everybody can read this blog! I mean anybody who wanted to could just come in and read my innermost thoughts! Even the pastor search team of another church! Ouch!

Maybe I shouldn't be so revealing of myself in this place? Then again. Maybe there's an unwritten contract that comes into effect when reading or writing a blog. An understanding of sorts that you have passed into a place where sentence fragments and a little honesty are forgiven in exchange for the knowledge that the person on display has opened themselves a just a little more wide than is usual. Maybe that's what makes blogs worthwhile?

I'll make you a deal. I'll keep opening up. If you'll always understand that the Aaron you see here is but a cross section of the Aaron that lives and breathes. He's also much more handsome, or so I'm told.

-Aaron