Six Broken Strings

The Teachers of Today

2009-05-19T10:16:00.000-05:00

I don’t know about a collective unconscious, but I do know this. Every generation of Christians chooses a select group of teachers for its own and before the dust settles these men and increasingly women have shaped the church for its day. O.K. perhaps it’s a bit more complex than that.
Now with the rise of “push” media in which the individual user chooses the who, what when and where of the pulpit this has never been more significant for the church. Philip Jacob Spener shaped the church out of a calling to preach the truth yes, but also because he taught from a prominent pulpit in a prominent town. These days Christians click on the pastor/teacher they like best and listen on their way to work.
The most immediate difference is predictably generational. My parents Christian lives continue to be bolstered by radio broadcasts and the names are familiar: Swindol, McGee, McArthur, Dobson, and Andy Stanley’s dad. I forget his name.
In the mean time whether you like him or not Andy Stanley is proceeding to reshape Christian church and the Christian Pulpit without ever broadcasting on T.V. or radio. If you want to know what’s coming in the church in the United States turn off the radio. It’s not there.
Personally I’m listening to Matt Driscoll, Rob Bell, Tim Keller, Matt Chandler and Louis Brenton. Louis Brenton? A great pastor out of Memphis who happens to be my brother.
So, there’s the internet and how that is and will continue to change the church. That’s a conversation or two right there. But, I’m more interested in this question:
Who are you listening to and what does that say about you? What does that say about the church?
I just remembered. Charles Stanley and yea, he’s still really good.

The Self Centered Blog

2009-01-26T10:42:00.003-06:00

When we talk sooner or later I will tell you something about me. It will usually connect with something you just said. Example: (You) We’ve been shopping for a used car. (Me) Really? We just bought a used car. The deals are great right now aren’t they? Have any luck?
I don’t just want to chat with you. I want to connect with you because I believe God will use that connection for your blessing, mine or both.
When I teach you I will usually do something similar, telling you about the cat that ran away from home or the mess Joshua made in the kitchen. I do this because to a far lesser extent I want to connect with you. (I am well aware that the degree to which we connect with our teachers influences greatly the weight we give to what they say.) But the far greater reason for mentioning my life in sermons, etc is because I believe that if we can make the leap together from abstract spiritual principle to concrete reality and that concrete reality is very similar to what happens in your life, then the door has opened for God to truly change people through eternal spiritual truths.
Others use jokes and stories they have picked up in one place or another to great effect, but I like my way. I suppose if I’m going to be honest there is another thing even more important to me in all this.
I can’t stand pride in leadership. I adore humble leadership.
Even more important, I believe that people are desperate for leaders that are not perfect. In other words that are just like them. People come almost to tears upon the realization that they aren’t not doing so much worse in following Jesus than their pastor.
So, the stories are not merely of success or example, but far more often of embarrassment, mistake, misunderstanding even abject failure.
The world is sick and tired of perfect pastors in crisp new suits telling them they are sinners, but to have someone say “I am fallen. I need Christ and whether you want to admit it or not you do too.
That to me is preaching that God can use and if that means nobody will ever put me on a pedestal then so be it. I’ll be honest. Some would say my self references ultimately flow out of a self centeredness. More often than not what I find is that I have traded some influence, some leadership mojo for these moments of openness. Then again there is a chance they are correct. Does arrogance hide behind all self reference?
There is no place in my world for arrogance in the pulpit and yet we so often find it there. Why is that? How do we crush it?

Politics

2008-05-08T10:22:00.001-05:00

O.K. I know this is a dangerous one, but it came up in my quiet time so here goes…

Politics has no place in Church, but rather it is our faith that must invade our politics.

Despite opportunity and even encouragement Jesus pointedly kept his ministry apolitical. Although He came to change our world he did not plot a course through Rome, nor through the power base of Jerusalem, but through the souls of everyday people, civic leaders and prostitutes alike.

The Church, His people, must do the same today.

Despite great persecution by the powers that be, Paul never turned his message away from that of Jesus Christ. At times he was frustrated with the world he lived in, as we all are, but in the end his instruction to Christians on politics goes something like this: Pray for our leaders no matter their faith or the goodness of their souls because we need peace and order so that we may continue our mission as Christians.

Christians should be very cautious and thoughtful before aligning ourselves with any secular political movement because it is not a gospel priority. As a Christian I must care and participate in shaping our society and its government. Indeed I rarely miss the op-ed section of the paper. I would feel almost sinful if I didn’t inform myself and vote, often based upon my Christian principles. But as a church our priorities, given to us by God, are clearly to be elsewhere.
What this means for me as a pastor is that I will often talk about social issues that intersect faith, but I will never publically endorse a candidate. Do you want to know if I’m going to vote Republican or Democratic? You’ll have to ask me, because you won’t hear about it from the pulpit.

I think Oz Guinness said it almost perfectly, “Called to be “in” the world but “not of it,” Christian engagement in politics should always be marked by a tension between allegiance to Christ and identification with any party, movement, platform, or agenda. If that tension is ever lacking, if Christian identification with a political movement is so close that there is not any clear remainder, then the church has fallen for a particularly deadly captivity.”

Blended Worship

2008-02-25T09:42:00.003-06:00

The crowd begins to gather. A few gather to talk and catch up on the week behind. Some will help lead and now is the time for final preparations. The last of the announcements fades from the screen. People begin to find their seats. Words of welcome are given and music begins to play. The Christians are about to worship.
These Christians realize that the church is in a time of transition in worship. Many churches in town have chosen to use newer songs and musical styles in worship. Many have chosen very traditional worship elements and present them through the instruments that have been used for the last few generations of Christian churches. This church though feels led to bridge this gap. This morning they have prepared a service that blends both the new and the old, the contemplative and the celebrative, the head and the heart. By the end of worship there have been organ preludes, guitar led praise choruses, organized readings and spontaneous prayer.
Now, here’s my question and I can’t say more without giving away my hand. This description of the blending of styles is beautiful, but when Christians try it, is the end result beautiful? Have we brought worshipers of different personalities and generations together in true worship or have we simply created a service in which nobody is able to truly sink into the worship of their God?
In other words, do blended services work? I’m still deciding what I think. What do you think?

Change

2008-02-12T09:42:00.000-06:00

I recently read an editorial mocking the overblown and unending use of the word change by our current crop of presidential candidates. Apparently it the one thing every one of every race, economic background and political persuasion can agree on. The time has come for change. There’s a very good chance a man named Obama may be our next president. The thing is if he does win it will not be because he’s better (at least that’s my view) but because in a season where change is so badly desired by so many Mr. Obama has managed to embody it. Change is powerful stuff. And yet, so many of us fear it.

Very often Christians stand against change. This puts us in an awkward position because this is a battle we will usually loose. Change will come.

Funny thing is, we often loose because God created a world for us that is in constant flux, ever changing, never fixed.

So what this means is that at least some of the time, when we are fighting again change we are fighting against the way God made the world. Let me put that more directely. Sometimes when we defend against change we are waging battle with God Himself.

So, how do we know when we are noble, standing firm on things that matter? How do we know when we are simply fools defending our way of life or some personal belief that God never asked us to stand for?

Sooner or later we all play the fool. I for one am a repeat offender. The difference is in how long it takes to discover our foolishness isn’t it?

Home in Albuquerque!

2008-01-21T16:47:00.000-06:00

After months of prayer, discussion and discernment the bags have been packed, the home has been sold, movers have arrived and left, kids have said goodbye to one school and hello to another. Work has begun, church has begun, there are only a few hundred new names to remember and there are mountains now outside our window.

The deed is done. We’re here! The McMillan’s are now Albuquerquians.

Epic is the only word to describe it. Some things are so big and hard that you can only just begin, there is no easy way. I think though that those are often the best things. God has been good though. Though meals, flowers and many great conversations about church life and life in general we have begun to feel at home.

Thanks to all who have received us so warmly. Thanks to all who are missed in Alabama! You are loved.

-Aaron

The Golden Compass

2007-12-04T08:06:00.000-06:00

(spoiler alert)
It wasn't until I was an adult that I read the Lord of the Rings, mostly because the movies were coming out and it was my last chance to truly experience Tolkien's world as he created it. Like many Christians there were moments in the story when Christian themes seems to flow benieth all that was happening on the page. I can still remember the moment when I relized that Frodo's struggle to possess yet not be influenced by the ring was ultimatly everyman's battle with sin. I can still rememeber the moment when I understood that Gollum was not to be hated, but pittied because he was what we all could be were sin to overcome. My faith surged in those moments.

Perhaps you have read the Narnia books. Can you remember the moment when you first understood that Aslan was a type of Christ. That his love for and sacrifice of himself on behalf of Edmund was exactely what Christ did for all humanity on a cross. We are all Edmunds. That us why later in the books when Edmund becomes a true hero that I wanted to cry, because I felt once again that there was great hope for me, because there had also been a great and eternal love for me.

Literature is powerful stuff. Only fools (as I once was and often still am)will rest all their hope in science and progress. Tolkien didn't make sin true. Lewis didn't make grace occur. Rather they both created a place in which grace and sin could be observed clearly. Grace needs no ally, only to be seen clearly. These stories helped me to do that.

There has been much hullaboloo about The Golden Compass, how it is the spawn an athiest out to steal our kids from God.

I wasn't aware God lost those kind of battles.

More to the point. I think its absolutely fair that concerted athiests make their case and that observant Christians listen closely as they do. If we are right, then there is nothing to fear from a powerful story illustraiting a world in which reason triumphs. (I can only guess what actually happens in the movie.) I happen to think reason is pretty powerful stuff because it is grounded in the being of God. In my book its stands right next to faith and grace as pillars of strength and godliness offered to all people. Strait to the point, I think Christians should go see The Golden Compass. We should see it because if Jesus was who he said he was then the questions it asks will only lead one back to God. We should see it because hiding from these kinds of questions has simply left Evangleical Christianity unable to answer honest questions any seeker would ask and in doing so we have portrayed Jesus Christ and his followers as fools. Our refusal to see this movie or to excitedly dialogue about it justifies its very point. That faith is for silly people. That Christians are backwards and spend their lives with their heads in the sand.

There will always be times when we are called to be fools for Christ, I don't think we need to invent new opportunities. Go see The Golden Compass and then talk about it with other Christians and hopefully a few athiests. It think its the most Christian thing you could do.

Unless of course its a just bad movie. In that case forget all that stuff I just said.

What do you think?

-Aaron

Thanksgiving is its Own Special Burden

2007-11-23T07:07:00.000-06:00

It is the day after Thanksgiving and I’m definitely feeling thankful. Surrounded by the natural beauty of N.E. Alabama, a warm home, kids all home from school, dad home from work, I’m feeling so thankful that it makes it hard to believe we’re actually going to leave Gadsden Alabama. My mind still fills with things to do, new peaks to strive for at our Gadsden CP Church and new landscaping projects for the front yard. Yesterday we met a neat couple at our Community Thanksgiving Dinner. They're looking for a church, he has some worship leading experience. It took a few minutes for security to pry me off their arm.

It may not be right or fair to the rest of the community we minister to, but young pastors of small churches tend to go weak in the knees when they meet young families, with worship leading experience who are looking for a church. It’s sort of like finding steak in the freezer. Your mouth starts watering immediately. It may not give the appearance of godliness you expect of a pastor, but it’s the truth. God’s Kingdom includes young and old, rich and poor, red and yellow, black and white and you love every single one. Still, the chance to minister to people just like you is a special treat.

My thought though is this. It hard to walk away from steak and Gadsden, has been steak to our family. Up till now it has been hard to think about leaving, but there has been plenty else to worry about. But Thanksgiving the holiday has passed. Christmas the holiday will be just an interlude before taking that left turn out of the driveway and pointing the McMillan caravan west and right now what I feel is sadness that I will not get to be the one that ministers to this new family. Their kids won’t grow up around our home. I won’t spend countless Sunday mornings tuning up with this musician worshiper. And that’s hard.

I think though, that’s how it’s supposed to be. The ministry juices aren’t supposed to stop flowing, for any of us. And that makes everyday a little harder and everyday a little better.

Thanks be to God.

Aaron

Crossing Borders

2007-11-14T10:04:00.000-06:00

Our family is now in the process of moving our life and ministry to New Mexico. Our greatest difficulty so far has been convincing our kids that we aren’t actually moving south of the border, a.k.a. Mexico . Finally I just told them that they were right. Dad has gotten into some trouble and we will be leaving the country for awhile. They will need to get jobs to support the family, while I am recovering from the stress of ministry.

It’s funny that to me Mexico does sound like a fearsome place where you would only go to hide from your past. A place where drug lords rule, where kidnappings are rampant and all good people have fled. Thing is, I just came in from speaking with Antonio an electrician working on our new building. He talked about a different Mexico, a place where family comes first and the people are friendly. His kids have grown up in the States and have visited annually for the last few years and would like nothing more than to live in Guadalajara. He never said it, for he is a humble and I believe godly man, but I got the impression that in his eyes, life is better in Mexico. I wonder if he’s right?

I know there’s a bigger picture here. Thousands maybe millions of illegal aliens crossing our borders... Money of course is the root. I suspect Antonio, two years a U.S. citizen, has worked hard and established himself financially and if he returned home would do so under promising conditions. Do you think that is the difference between my friend the hardworking Mexican now U.S. citizen and the countless others, undocumented and looking for work at any price? The need for food, shelter and clothing, the need for money… is that the difference between the illegal and the welcomed new neighbor? One can afford to come through the front door, the other can't afford not to come though the back door.

I don’t buy that the illegal aliens among us are all crooks. I don’t think endlessly open borders will work either. I guess we all know that.

This is what I do know and will stand on. This is absolutely a What Would Jesus Do kind of moment.

Mostly I’ll be interested to see how my perspective changes once I’m living a little closer to the border. Things may look a little different than they do here in Alabama.

What do you think?

-Aaron

Fear, Faith and... New Mexico

2007-10-23T05:46:00.000-05:00

This morning during a time of quiet I was reading Psalm 61. Somewhere in the midst of its words something became so clear: My greatest fear, (oft unseen yet always close by) is that all the great projects of my life are being carried out under my own power. That is to say, that God is not really the One clearing the way before, giving the strength to proceed, calling me forward in all things. The thought that all that I have done, all that we have done together, has been done completely of ourselves threatens to strip all that is beautiful from our lives.

Oz Guiness talks about the loss of calling, the ceasation of the search for our purpose as a form of sloth. I think there's some truth to that. We do have the ability to choose whether to pursue questions of calling. In fact there is some sin in not doing so. And what we find down that road.. the roads we go down because of what we find.. and who leads us down those roads, that's... everything. A beautiful, life giving, everything.

All this means quite a bit to me today, because yesterday I began the difficult process of telling my dear friends of Gadsden, Alabama that Amy and I feel God leading us to a new field of ministry far away. We will be moving to Albuquerque, New Mexico at the end of this year. We are as excited about this calling as we are grieved over departing so much that is dear. I saw a dear friend at Wal-mart just yesterday and I wanted to cry. (But really, you can't cry at Wal-mart there's just too much joy waiting over in electronics, but that's another blog)

In the end though, to remain in a place of comfort when God seems to be far out ahead of us would be to choose the very life I've just said I fear. For the Christian who has grown to a place where such is his fear, there really is no other choice, because at this moment God for us will only be found in New Mexico, just as His was waiting for us in Alabama and Tennessee before that and Colorado before that.

May (this man) reign under God's protection forever.

Appoint your unfailing love and faithfulness to watch over him.

Then I will always sing praises to your name as I fulfill my vows day after day.

Psalm 61:7,8

Is there anything more I could ask?

Is there anything greater we could loose?

Don't Read This

2007-10-22T09:45:00.000-05:00

Recently I was shocked, (shocked I say!) to discover that literally everybody can read this blog! I mean anybody who wanted to could just come in and read my innermost thoughts! Even the pastor search team of another church! Ouch!

Maybe I shouldn't be so revealing of myself in this place? Then again. Maybe there's an unwritten contract that comes into effect when reading or writing a blog. An understanding of sorts that you have passed into a place where sentence fragments and a little honesty are forgiven in exchange for the knowledge that the person on display has opened themselves a just a little more wide than is usual. Maybe that's what makes blogs worthwhile?

I'll make you a deal. I'll keep opening up. If you'll always understand that the Aaron you see here is but a cross section of the Aaron that lives and breathes. He's also much more handsome, or so I'm told.

-Aaron

Construction

2007-08-11T15:05:00.000-05:00

We are right now in the middle of a new construction project at church, a new activity building. You can see a rendering of it at http://www.gadsdencp.com/ Click on the directions tab.

It’s been exciting and eye opening all the way. I love being in school, relish walking into a new class for the first time and looking over the syllabus. For me this new project has made it feel like class is in session every day and I’m loving that. At first I think we all felt a little intimidated in every way by this new thing God’s doing. From discerning God’s will, to raising the funds, to planning the building, to bringing in the dozers, there have been plenty of mountains to climb. Now once again we are realizing that our campaign to inspire people for ministry and to give to their church can’t stop just because we are busy now with dirt and brick. In fact I believe when all is said and done that will be the true challenge, keeping our church from slowing to an idle while the smokehouse brown elephant takes the center ring in our little circus. Uh…you see the block walls are smokehouse brown and the building is sort of elephant like due to it’s… Well. It made sense to me.

I’ve always heard it said from a pastoral perspective that once a construction project begins you can plan on getting nothing else big done until the dust settles. It really is true. There is so much ministry growth that needs to take place in our congregation and yet, I can sense that if we were to take on these challenges right now they would never gather the spiritual and logistical momentum new things need to take root and grow. So, I never thought I’d hear myself saying this, but perhaps this is a good time to accept for a few months the status quo. The status quo of course is Aaron’s arch enemy, that mysterious force anchoring God’s Kingdom forever to all that is comfortable and well worn, all that the world would like the church to be, a cozy place to go when life gets tough where everybody knows your name.

So, anyway…these are my thoughts this morning. I’d love to hear your thoughts on big projects, new ministries and the status quo.

-Aaron

The Best Worst Sunday

2007-07-26T13:41:00.000-05:00

About 10:58 last Sunday morning I had no doubt that this could turn out to be the worst Sunday ever.

Worship is supposed to be this different kind of reality. If only for a few minutes the world waits outside while we are with God. Yesterday all that changed forever when, quite unexpectedly, the world came in and I feared for my life and the lives I love most. It was the worst moment I have ever experienced in church.

With sand from the beach still in my hair and a baptism to come it was a good Sunday. Dot B. was about to sing, and my mind was already more with the sermon to come than with anything else. The sound of the warning cry from the back pew would have been enough to rattle me without the shock of the words. Somehow someway against my every expectation a strange man was walking purposefully to the front of the church. With beads of sweat running the length of his face and chest heaving, the force of his interruption would have been enough to bring everything to a halt, but it was the knife in his hand, drawn and ready that arrested every breath in the room.

The young man had a name, Fredrick, and he spoke of awful things that he had done. Has he just done this thing? Are others hurt? Will we be hurt? My wife Amy is sitting just a few feet away. Will she see something horrible happen to me today?

And then, suddenly God was there and even now, thinking about it I feel like crying for joy. No one screamed. No one fled. Almost as one our body of believers began to act. Men crept from their seats and up the aisles. Those in the back moved to secure the children in their rooms. Many began quietly placing calls for help on their phones. Elsewhere, teachers bravely kept smiles on their faces as they maintained the calm of their class knowing their loved ones were in danger and outside, praise God, an off duty police officer enters the building having seen the man enter from the road. Back in the sanctuary Alma Lee speaks up with all the crazy bravery her mother gave her. “Young man, your business is at the alter.”

Addressing the man I spoke. “Sounds like you've got a lot on you today.” His head sunk as he nodded yes. Would he like to talk with me up here and then pray together? Yes, he would, and as he moved forward, "would he please put down the knife?" Without a word he placed the knife on the prayer rail and there could have been no better place for in that moment 87 prayers were answered as we all began to breathe again.

He stepped forward as I took his hand and instantly two of our young men were there on either side bracing his arms in place as we first spoke and then prayed. Whatever menace was in this man’s face a minute earlier was gone, replaced now with repentance and tears. Would the young man continue our conversation in the offices? Would he go there with these young men (and several more) and wait for me? Yes, he would.

And then he was gone. Dot sang her song and Mike took the lead as I moved to catch up with the men. Walking into the back halls I saw so many people at every corner, each one on their own mission to check on this person or that. The police were already there. No one could believe how fast they had arrived. Certainly 911 had a busy few minutes.

In the office Frederick sat as officers and myself came into the room. As we spoke again of repentance the officers began their arrest. Did he understand there would still be consequences for what he had done? Would he want me to visit him in detention? A final prayer and then it was time to let the police do their job.

Walking back down the hall I realized the sound of music was still coming from the sanctuary. Still, after all this nobody had fled. As I came into the sanctuary there they were, these Christians filling the room with their song, the prayer rail with bended knees and the air with their prayers for God’s protection, praying even for this troubled young man. These people had never lost their way and suddenly I was filled with such joy and relief the tears welled up in my eyes. Their worship had never ended and for myself I can say it still hasn’t.

Yes, the world came into our church this past Sunday, but God came in with it and already I’m realizing that it might just turn out to be the best Sunday ever.

I'm Back

2007-06-25T10:10:00.000-05:00

I am a Cumberland Presbyterian Christian. This week we held our annual assembly to direct the denomination for the coming year. Some great things happened the biggest of which is that a friend encouraged me to begin writing this blog again. So thanks for reading. Know that I write out of a desire for community, so please do respond, or direct me to your own blogs or facebook pages so that I can return the favor.
-Aaron

Small Churches (Part II)

2007-02-05T08:36:00.000-06:00

Wow, Several of you have responded to my last post with some of the most thoughtful heartfelt Kingdom minded thoughts I had to date. Thanks! It means a lot to be able to feel connected with so many friends and family outside of my immediate hometown of Gadsden Alabama.

I feel like some context might help give my questioning of small churches some, uh... context. First of all I hope everyone understands that I like hard thought provoking questions. Sometimes I post things with a certain amount of righteous concern or irreverent questioning. That doesn't always mean I'm actually having a crisis. Usually I don't feel able to talk about my crisises online until they are past. Perhaps some of you saw through this one to my currant struggle to bring life and growth to a small church in Alabama. Perhaps you were right this time. Perhaps though God is showing me that I may be feeling a righteous anger (over struggling to grow) that he never asked me to have. These are things we have discussed somewhat openly in our church so I feel free to share them here.

But the context of my questioning small churches was a little different:

First, They are for the most part all I have ever known. (So file this under young man questioning his roots)

Second, In the midst of a conversation with a good friend we began to talk about one's own life as a thing that one must be a good steward of. A Christian doesn't just need to be good and go to church, etc, but must also be one that directs his or her life in a way that will hopefully have us hearing the words,"Well done..." at the end of our lives.

Third, This led to the question. Could a pastor ever be said to be investing his or her life unwisely by placing it in a small church where the potential to reach many people was shifted instead to deeply impacting a few?

Fourth, This led me to challenge myself. Has my long held discomfort with mega churches been in part a result of my life long comfort with small churches and most importantly for myself... Does God want to challenge my sense of safely and comfort around small ministries with the possibility that I may be better used by Him from time to time in much larger ministries.

This lead to my question for you, purposely intended to spark your thoughts... Are Small Churches a Good Place to Spend Your Life?

For two of the best answers I have heard, you simply must check out the responses to the previous post. The first by David Morris, of Hope Presbyterian (Cordova TN) notes that to answer that question one must seek the heart of the church in question. The second is by Dr. Doug Groothuis, my former Professor at Denver Seminary. Dr. Groothuis has his own very worthwhile Blog that can probably be found with a quick search.

As always please let me know your thoughts!
In Christ
Aaron

Are Small Churches a Good Place to Spend Your Life?

2007-02-02T10:06:00.000-06:00

I believe God likes it when we take big risks.

I believe God wants us to be good stewards of what He has given us.

I believe that third servant wishes He'd risked more and worried less.

I believe God doesn’t want me to waste my money on the lottery.

But I do believe He wants me to pour my life into small churches with little hope of a turn a round?

It doesn't add up, but...

If I don't then who is going to serve these lifelong disciples?

Is the kingdom of God a capitalist enterprise? Are we to measure the value of a church in its ability to grow and impact the world in a measurable way, or do we rather value churches by the inestimable worth of the souls inside?

What if that third servant had put all that time and money into caring for a church that was unlikely to ever grow? What would the Master say? Would it be a life buried in the ground or life wisely invested?

Could the answer be both? Could God absolutely love these people even as He expects far more effectiveness in ministry? Would Jesus admire the faith of the American small church on the country road with the steeple or would he criticize it? I think he might just do both.

-Aaron

Thanks

2006-12-18T08:47:00.000-06:00

Great Sunday yesterday. Worship went well. In the afternoon I worked on a chest of drawers that I’m refinishing. Emily and Wilson played, while Lucy and Joshua slept. Amy spent some time by herself at the mall. We ate a nice dinner got the kids in bed and then with an amazing 45 minutes left in the day we sat and read for a while. It was a good day. Thank you God. I wish I wouldn’t limit you so often with my moods, my frustrations.

-Aaron

Some things mean the most when they are said where others can hear.

Wisdom

2006-12-15T08:29:00.000-06:00

The great temptation of youth is to believe experience matters little.

The great temptation of age is to believe experience a requirement.

Both are tempted by the same thing, the desire to see the world in a way that is best for themselves.

Both are blind.

It is Wisdom that is the maker and breaker of all men.

Wisdom does not come from experience, Wisdom comes from God, yet the truly wise have become more so through their experience.

Or so I've heard.

Merry Christmas.

Multiple Personalities

2006-12-11T09:15:00.000-06:00

The keys stick into my thigh from within my pocket, but I can’t reach to straiten them out. To set down the guitar or the laptop, the cell phone or the bible would mean another few seconds, another bother on my way out the church door. I sigh. What did Rob Bell do right that I have not?

Thank goodness this is not the only pastor I am.

I figure I’m at least two pastors and probably a third. The first pastor is confident and excited to be where he is and doing what He’s doing. He believes in the progress he sees, he does not fear the setbacks that come and he loves these people. His wife is amazed at his resilience. The second is frustrated, anxious, worries about his legacy, experiences moments of bitterness towards the very people, the very church he’s been called to serve.

Then there’s the other pastor, the third pastor. You would like him. He is the one that you will see when you visit our church. He is the one that will appear at my desk even as the first knock sounds upon the office door. He is the one that I become when the voice on the other end of the line is in need. The pastor’s wife rather enjoys watching the transformation. It’s very humbling to have your best friend chuckle at you.

These guys are the pastors I live with and I never really know when I wake up which one I will spend the day with. One seems completely fragile, another quite dismal, and yet another possibly false. Are any of them what God wants me to be? Would any of them fit in the Kingdom I am waiting for?

I could defend myself and say that sometimes, many times, the realities of leading a body of believers, the successes and failures of everyday life are the deciding factor. But if we’re going to talk about reality then we have to talk about another reality…

When I’m close to God my circumstances loose their ability to control me and what kind of person I am.

When I’m close to God my church looses the ability to decide what kind of pastor I will be. When He is all I see these three men I live with each in turn become less fragile, less dismal, less false, more true, more balanced, more like something God might have dreamed up.

In other words, when I’m closest to God I’m also most likely to walk out of church with a spring in my step.

I wonder...who are the "you's" that you live with?

Before the Throne

2006-10-09T10:53:00.000-05:00

The lights are down. The speaker has finished. The message was moving. The music begins to rise. A leader begins to speak about the need to act on what has been said. The alter is open.

They are referred to as “alter calls.” I have been a part of many. I’ve “led” a few. I’ve been in the back of the room countless times, but I still don’t know what I believe or how I feel about this way of doing ministry.

What is it about the call to come forward that’s so important to the faith of so many? It’s not something that has always been done by Christians, at least not as the Great Awakening and Billy Graham have made it known. The call to commitment, the challenge to face God, even the human need to have watershed moments of deep soul searching. I think we see these in the Bible and I think we need these today, whether they occur beside our bed or at the front of the church.

Perhaps the heart needs room to work when the mind is not busy following someone else’s words or worrying about the outside world, but when does providing a time and place for that kind of reflection turn into manipulation?

Recently two friends and I began talking about this while planning an upcoming youth retreat. I don’t know that we all saw things exactly the same way, but I know that we all love God. Most of all I wonder what God thinks and I wouldn’t mind knowing what you think either.

Take Care
Aaron

What Hath God Wrought?

2006-09-22T08:38:00.000-05:00

Saturday Amy delivered our fourth child. That makes our family a bit of a freak in today’s world. One child and you’re a cute little family. Two children and every church wants you. Three and you’re officially a family man. Four… well that’s just crazy. Thing is, six days in to it I can already tell they’re right. It is a little crazy to have four kids.

Maybe before it was just an illusion, the feeling of being in some sort of control of your life. Now there are no illusions. God hath wrought a four headed monster and it is loose in my house. I rent movies and they are returned unviewed. The paycheck comes and four sets of shoes later we’re eating corn flakes for dinner. I dream of a Saturday doing my favorite things and then it is spent at soccer games and birthday parties.

The thing that is lost of course is the “I”. First through marriage, then as a family grows there is very little “I” left in one’s thinking, or at least one’s schedule. I wish the "I" was gone in my thinking. The other day I was talking with a very good very godly young adult. She was talking through her struggles and frustrations in life. I went through many of the same things ten years ago, but I was still struck by how much her life was ultimately about her. All her resources, her time, her money, her life were truly hers to do with as she chose. I started to feel dizzy. I woke up hours later with a vague awareness of having sat at a friend's apartment watching kung-fu and eating pizza for several hours.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t consider this young woman a bad person, selfish or conceited. That’s why we say things about youth like, “you’re only young once.” It’s just true. When there are few strings attached and your back never hurts… well in most lives it does only come once and never for long enough.

The thing is, life can’t stay about you for long. It may come through having kids, a lifelong friendship or even when you follow God into some far fetched calling. No matter what when your headed in the right direction your life will always lead away from you and into some bigger thing. God usually lets people decide about the direction of things though and some people earnestly resist letting their life, their time, their money become devoted to other people, to some higher calling. They are the truly miserable souls because their lives have no point.

There’s something else people in the second half of their lives say about adults with young families, usually after some young fool like myself complains about life with four kids. They say, “Enjoy every minute of it because it will be over before you know it.”

The truth is, God’s greatest gift has been making my life crazy, making it not about me.

The Weary Traveler (part 1)

2006-08-26T08:35:00.000-05:00

I’m going to tell you a story.

You are alone in you car and it is deep into the night. The radio has lost it’s signal you hear nothing but static. It’s been a while since you’ve seen any road signs but you know you are up in one of the plains states, maybe Nebraska or Montana, far from anywhere in particular. You know this because that is where your trip has taken you, as you’ve known for some time it would. You also know this because as far as you can see in any direction there is nothing. It is as if the night itself has become a living breathing thing surrounding you, only parting reluctantly for the white arc of your headlights and glow of red behind. You realize how much you have come to need this car. If it were to fail, if a fuse blew and the lights were to go out… there would be nothing left but darkness.
After some time off, in the distance you see a glow. At first it’s nothing more than a slightly different shade of black, but then it becomes something more, a glowing line on the horizon. You’ve no doubt now there is some sort of place ahead and as you approach you see that it is of all things, a dinner, small and long with a row of windows unending from one corner to the next, and out of these windows issues light. Maybe it is just your eyes adjusting after so long in the dark, but this light seems almost brighter, more golden, than any you have ever seen. There are people inside and although it is not time to eat you know it is time to stop. You find that you’re more anxious to be in this place than you’re been to be anywhere in a long long time.
As you park and walk inside you see that the place is full of people. It’s immediately clear that you’re going to have to sit with someone else. Normally you wouldn’t do such a thing, but that’s just what you begin to do and as soon as you pull the chair back you know, you can feel that they have all done just the same thing. None of these people knew or cared about each other before tonight.

The Weary Traveler (part 2)

2006-08-26T08:33:00.000-05:00

What you notice most of all though is the man behind the counter. He’s dirty with smudges and stains on his white apron. He even has that little white hat they used to wear and it’s clear immediately that all eyes are on him, that He is the reason why they are all here. He’s not tall, not beautiful, but in His eyes is love, a love that you have never seen in anyone before, a love you have never felt before. Then at that moment while you were busy looking at Him you realize belatedly that He is looking at you. You want to look away, but you can’t because you know that it is as if you are being seen for the first time. All you pretenses, all your efforts to be strong, all your fears so long and so well covered up, your misdeeds… all is seen. You had always feared and hated the thought of being truly and completely seen, but now that it is here you love it. It is as if you had waited all your life just to be seen completely and fully. You had never ever dared think that the first person to see and know you fully would also be the first to love you completely and truly. All you want is to never have to look away and in a strange sense you realize you are now ready to die because this man has found you, and even more strangely you realize that because of this you are now ready, for the first time to really live.
Then suddenly people are standing up and beginning to leave. Some go and speak a few words to the man privately and you can see that He is speaking to them. Some smile at what they hear, others seem hard pressed, but all are peaceful all are content.
You decide that you will not leave, that you just arrived, that you will explain and the man will understand that you must stay here now. Soon the last two people walk out the door and it’s simply you and Him. You look up ready to explain why you cannot leave but when you look at Him it’s as if you have already said what you wanted to say and He has already listened. Then He speaks, “It’s time to finish your trip.” And you know He’s right. Your journey is not complete; there will be miles to go before you rest.
You rise and walk out the door and into the night again and it’s hard to imagine how much darker it all seems now, now that you have met the Man, now that you have seen the light, but as your eyes adjust you realize that there is something there, something you had not seen before. In the distance, all is not dark. As the last of the people drive into the night you see that around them is a glow, so much less, yet so much the same as the light that is now within you. You turn and look through the door and you know that you will be back and you know that you are not really leaving this place or this man for you are now, his disciple.

Your Life is a Sentence

2006-08-22T08:47:00.000-05:00

If you could say only one thing to God what would it be? If you knew that in your lifetime only this next statement would make it through the switchboard, what would you say? Would you ask about some great mystery? Would you ask for a favor? Would you dare to give Him some advice? Or would you ask anything at all.

I think its funny and somewhat hope giving that the most conservative traditional Christians I know and the most radically minded, for all their differences, seem to agree that a Christian is to be a worshiping being. Perhaps that’s the essential difference between a Christian and the world. We are strangers to it because we worship.

I worry that the vast middle ground of evangelical Christianity has lost this worship awareness and built in its place something more like a monument to ourselves. But that is another story for another day.

So. You have this one moment of true connection with the Creator. Would you ask, would you advise, or would you worship? Would you find that for you, for your soul in its present place, there could really only be…worship?

Take Care
Aaron

Misplaced Love?

2006-08-07T08:49:00.000-05:00

Kirk and Riley, our two dogs, ran off from the house yesterday afternoon and the rest of our day and night was just ruined. They have been missing before, but never overnight. We searched and searched, for hours, on into the night. Several people said they saw them, but always long before we arrived. I had taken for granted how much they mean to us and how much they are a part of our family. Worst of all, it was my fault. I had been the one to cease paying them attention, while I was busy elsewhere.

Amy and I went to bed last night so tired. I slept a guilty sleep. We left the gate open and the garage door cracked in case they found their way back, but I had little hope. They had never run so far and been gone so long.

I woke early this morning and checked the garage…nothing. Then the back yard… and there they were greasy, dirty, and by the looks of things exhausted. I let them in and we went running to our bedroom yelling “They’re back!” “They’re back!” I cried, just for a minute, but now two hours later I still feel emotionally worn from the experience.

It’s special, and sad, how much our pets can mean to us, much more than they deserve. They're given so much more love than many human beings ever receive. Much more than I give to others on my bad days. I wonder... did Jesus ever love a pet? We don't lavish treats and special possesions on our pets, but we do buy the "good" dog food in the green bag. Sometimes we have to stretch to provide some medical treatment or medicine. Did Jesus ever feed a pet food that could have gone to a person? I know I would never feed my dog, let alone myself while a truly hungry person was in view, but then again we've learned to live far from those people these days. I don't plan on giving up our furry companions, but I'll feel a little better when I've come to some ideas about what God thinks of me and my pets. What do you think?

Take Care
Aaron

A Relevant Challenge

2006-08-03T08:33:00.000-05:00

The web site reads: Have you given up on the church of your parents? Come to Grace Place and discover a faith that's relevant to your life!

The billboard reads: Deer Valley Community: We serve Him by serving You!

and Jesus said, Go ye therefore unto all the world and be... relevant?

No not quite, but Jesus was very relevant. How much then shall we be?

We now live in a culture where the individual reigns supreme, each to his own, each living by the dictates of her own conscience. The individual has risen, and would we really want it any other way? I like living in a world where one person can change things. I love the challenge that my Creator places on me each and every day to live up to my soul's Holy Spirit empowered potential. And I want to tell others about this God that loves them individually.

But the pressure's on for those of us that do feel compelled to bring individuals to the Son of God. Does Hell shake the soul of the woman with the ipod in her ears? Increasingly not. Do teary eyed descriptions of Jesus' sufferings?... less so, it seems, every day.

What does unlock the heart of the individual, of millions of individuals, that have built few bridges to the concepts of spirituality and the precepts of God? The answer of churches increasingly is this: ministries that are relevant to their life without God, things they need or like already, filled with people that are only always just like them.

I am, and always have been one of those that believes we must be relevant, not become relevant, but show that Christ already is relevant. Driving down the road, surfing the web, this Christian is begining to wonder how far is too far. One of the key tenants of the Christ life is the radical challenge He presents. He never feared the thousands that walked away trusting that those that did stay were truly those given to him by God. He was loving. He was relevant, but his was a relevant challenge to life as they knew it.

I'm just going to assume and hope that the church "that serves you!" is serving up a relevant, loving, joyful... challenge.

Take Care and let me know if you agree or disagree!
Aaron

Here I Stand, Get Off My Lawn

2006-08-01T08:14:00.000-05:00

Martin Luther stood before Charles and declared that he simply would not budge. Luther had come to believe, as had many others in his day, that the individual with the Bible before him or her trumped every authority on earth. Kings may rise and churches may fall, but for the Christian reality is shaped and normalized by words from God called scripture.

We say sola scriptura, but is that completely true? Did the Bible rise in the minds of men on that day? When Luther stood as he did he was doing far more than standing on the scriptures, he was also representing a change that was spreading across Europe and the world. In that moment Luther Symbolized the rise of the individual.

Today we live in a world where the individual has truly risen. I am writing a blog and you are reading it. (Thank you by the way) My neighbor is a Jehovah's Witness, another is a charismatic Christian, yet another is busy building a life without any god, and I, of course, am Ward Cleaver. In a few weeks we will all go and vote, that we may constitute a governed society to our liking.

So my question is this. Should we thank Luther or not? Should Christians be thankful for the rise of the individual? Tomorrow I'll be posting some of my thoughts, but I'd love to hear your's first.

Take Care
Aaron

On Wings of Stooges

2006-07-26T08:08:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I worry that the Church looks to the world like the Three Stooges, full of great plans, but mostly failing because everybody wants their version of the plan to be the plan. Of course we all have a plan. Every christian leader I've ever met has a plan.

Rabbit Trail Alert! Except for those that have chosen to be above the plan. It takes great dedication and focus to achieve this spiritual status. Mostly these sage individuals can be found sitting in Christian coffee shops, reading books about other people's plans and talking about how they don't have one. You can always spot the leader with no plan, because he or she is always there to keep you company when you stop by for coffee.

I'll tell you right now I have a plan. Some days its all I think about. What should God's people commit to? How should they organize themselves? What will success look like?

What worries me is when I look around and see so many plans, so many churches that I begin to ask myself, is this God's plan? Is this how God planned for the world to see His message, His people, His gospel exemplified? I begin to understand why some Christians are willing to tolerate almost any degree of deflated worldy Christianity before they will walk away from their church or denomination. Its that dream of being the church we were meant to be.

Rick Warren, who along with countless others has taught me a lot about churches, talks about knowing your taget audience and setting your ministry to task with that person in mind. I'm scarred to death he is right, very right. Targeting a specific kind of person may very well be the key to excellent effective ministry.

But is that really the gospel? Is that really the church God planned?

Dogs and cats, living together bound by a common Creator, Savior and indwelling Spirit, I thought that was the plan. And that's why some days I look at my church and the 17 others within 3 square miles and wonder whether to the world we look more like the Body of Christ, the Kingdom of God,.. or merely three stooges rolling around on the floor, going for the eyes, trying to make sure our plan comes out on top.

Take Care
Aaron

Hope Pres Angst

2006-07-10T22:43:00.000-05:00

Everytime I come into contact with a church that labels itself emergent it feels like I'm walking past the cool kid's table in Jr.High. Everyone's polite when you talk with them, but the fact is they have a guy with cool tatoos painting abstract images of God in their worship while I've got an... organ.

The truth is we are all almost always looking at our own church and comparing it to the others around us. The cumulative effect is to leave the Body of Christ feeling somewhat like a Jr. High lunch room. We know each other, we're even polite to each other, but deep down we believe in being the way we are or we at least feel most comfortable being the way we are. Their way is not our way. So we sit at our own table with our own people and sometimes we talk about those people.

I think there are a few myths about church that need uncovering. Maybe we can spend some time these next few weeks doing so, always pointing the scrub brush at ourself first of course.

So, I suppose the question at hand is, what does the lunchroom feel like to you? Do you ever have that my church/their church angst and what can we do about it?

Take Care
Aaron

Somewhat Illustrious Beginnings

2006-07-07T15:06:00.000-05:00

I have been informed that I must include a picture of myself with this site. I'll be sure to write more about myself in the profile section at the top right of the page. Until then here is the picture you've been looking for.

Take Care
Aaron

Dying to be Great

2006-07-06T16:11:00.000-05:00

I am a very small man, at least that is how I see myself when I walk in front of the mirrored glass doors at the bank. Mirrors are everywhere these days.

Sometimes, all the time, when life is busy, when I can feel God (yes I believe in Him) smilling at me I begin to feel big, even huge. In fact these days I feel pretty big quite often. A few weeks ago I took my oldest two kids camping for the first time. We made a fire, roasted hotdogs, went hiking. I showed them how to walk down a steep canyon and not slip. They showed me how cool centipedes are. We arrived at the bottom and they sat waiting for me to lead on. It was one of those moments where you know you are big. This is that moment.

I've never blogged, but I expect this will be a bit about my efforts to be big and my belief that for humans being big is closely tied to Jesus of Nazareth. If I am potential, He was and is completely actual.

Take Care
Aaron